Rushing to get baby milk, driving past the refugee tents in Berg, Bavaria I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Two families queued at the makeshift gates requesting entry. They looked exhausted and grey. I hope relieved and reassured.
One woman in a lilac headscarf and thick tights was holding a baby, my daughter’s age. My baby is wrapped up snug and warm in her crib and this woman’s baby is out in the November night waiting with his/her family for admittance to the camp.
I then walked to the local Rewe City and was queueing behind two Syrian men. One was older, I remember his piercing amber eyes and when he saw I had baby milk he insisted I go ahead of them. I nodded my thanks and began to cry.
I was seeing humanity at its very best. Here was a man, having experienced at the very least the terror of war on his doorstep, still able to show compassion and kindness. I shook his hand and mumbled something stupid and inane.
I have been numb the last few days. Talking the talk, writing, blogging and tweeting about the devastation in Paris, Lebanon and around the world but I wasn’t feeling it. I could empathise and be angry but I was immune to actual sadness.
Tonight, it hit me like a freight train. I don’t recognise my world anymore. I’m living somebody else’s life and I don’t like it. What the hell has happened? I’m frightened, confused and dismayed. I feel wasted, banal and emotionally underfunded.
And then a bloke lets me go first in the queue and I think, perhaps we are going to be okay. Perhaps, we can do this together.
November 17, 2015 at 7:04 pm
Our emotions are in turmoil, our world is tipped slightly out of whack. All we can do it keep on keeping on and believe in the basic goodness of the vast majority of people.
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November 17, 2015 at 7:05 pm
Yes, of course. I’ve been edgy all day and I just cracked. I think it is the collision of so much hate and love that is confusing and odd. x
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November 17, 2015 at 7:09 pm
‘I don’t recognize my world anymore’. Yes. That’s precisely how I’m feeling. And yes, Diane. We need to keep on keeping on. Keep on hoping and believing.
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November 17, 2015 at 7:13 pm
It was your post that got me thinking x
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